Talking about kinks is our sexpertise!

Let’s talk about kinks!

While this discussion is considered “taboo”- the reality is that everyone has them! Even the most vanilla (non-kinky) people have those moments both with a partner and alone that turn them on. We want to help guide you through how to talk about kinks not only with a partner but with yourself and help you explore your sexuality! 

So first- what are we considering a kink? Does it have to be extreme or “abnormal” to be considered kinky? Webster’s Dictionary describes a sexual kink as an “unconventional sexual taste or behavior” - basically anything that isn’t “traditional.” But as we all know, times have changed and tradition is no longer a standard for what is good and acceptable!

Most people without any foundational knowledge of what kinky is automatically think of it as extreme. The Journal of Sex Research actually detailed a study that showcased that 45% of people have sexual fetishes, while only 26% have actually acted on them. What?!!?

Here’s the truth: some fetishes seem incredible in fantasy but in actuality may fall short. Some fetishes simply aren’t possible because elements don’t actually exist in reality or they must reside in the fantasy realm for whatever reason. But there are ways to work them in, especially with a erotic boudoir shoot! A great way to showcase your kink or surprise your partner with a fantasy would be to start the conversation on how we can bring these ideas to life through lighting, costume, prop, toy, set design or otherwise!

Here is a short list of kinks for you to read about and explore. The list is endless, but it’s a good start!

And it goes without saying, but all acts in reference must always be performed with willing, eager, and explicit consent from all parties involved:

• Costumes- Having a costume fetish describes a person who derives pleasure from seeing their partner in a specific outfit prior to and/or during a sexual encounter. This fetish crosses into role play at times, but here is specifically attributed to the article of clothing rather than the persona attributed to the clothing. This can include:

  • Occupational: Nurse/Doctor/Teacher/Military

  • Sports: Cheerleader/Boxing Champion/Female Body builder

  • Animal/Furry: anthropomorphic/pet play

  • Latex/PVC ware

  • Cross-dressing

  • Cosplay: Anime/Videogame/Comic characters

  • Historical Fantasy: Victorian ware/medieval, for example

• Specific Body Part Fetishes: Everyone has the part of another’s body that turns them on more than others. While it may be considered more “vanilla” to prefer your partner’s eyes, smile, butt, or boobs, kinks should always be considered a spectrum. Some of the more extreme parts of this spectrum can include feet, armpits, stomachs, and extreme fixation on genitalia. 

• Voyeurism- This describes the act of watching another person have a sexual encounter and seeking pleasure from the act of watching, not being involved.

• Power Play- An exchange of power between submission and dominanace. This can include:

  • Dominany/Submissive

  • Switch

  • Master/Servant/Pet

  • Keyholders (chastity play)

  • Daddy/Mommy

  • Brat/Brat Tamer

When it comes to discussing kinks with your partner(s), it’s important to keep the following in mind.

1. Be open and remove all shame! Do not yuck your partner’s yum! It is perfectly fine for your partner to not be into a fetish that you are and vice versa. It is NOT ok to therefore cause the other party to feel shame or be forced into trying certain fetishes. Kinks must ALWAYS be consensual and without judgment. 

2. Don’t view a fetish as not being able to fulfill your partner’s desires. If your partner is really into using a specific toy, don’t view it as your ability, but rather as a tool to use together to create an incredible experience. Be open to these tools, but make sure to check in with you and your partner's boundaries while exploring this new avenue.

3. Keep the conversation going. Sexuality is extremely fluid. You may be incredibly into one fetish one day and into a completely different fetish the next. Don’t view this conversation on kinks as the only conversation you’ll ever have on this, but rather keep the conversation open. Let you and your partner discuss prior to, during, and after the act what you like and what you don’t so you can develop your sexuality together. You may find yourself wanting to revisit with new parameters, slow down the next time around, dive in deeper or abandon the experimentation entirely.

If all this sounds interesting to you, let’s chat. I’ve had photoshoots with members of Atlanta dungeons who are fully engrossed in their lifestyle. I’ve photographed financial dommes needing a content calendar for their 0nly Fanz. And I’ve photographed people wanting to simply add some spice to their life and are brand new to whips, chains, cuffs and bondage.

More than 26% of people should definitely be enacting their fantasies, and we hope to help raise that number. Remember to stay open, respect your and your partner’s boundaries, and seek explicit and eager consent surrounding the kinks you would like to try. There is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed.

Until next time, live life and make an impact. ;) 

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